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The shape of things to come

Rebecca arriving

Rebecca arriving at LAX late on the night of Friday, Dec. 17. Because Rebecca travelled as an "unaccompanied minor," I received a pass to pick her up right at the arrival gate.

We passed a milestone last month. It was a surprisingly quiet milestone, but still fraught with significance.

When Rebecca stepped off the airplane late on the night of Friday, Dec. 17, at LAX, I was sitting right in front of the gate to greet her. It’s a benefit of “unaccompanied minor” status, which is how she has been travelling coast-to-coast—and occasionally to points in between—for over a decade now.

When I bought the UM ticket for her, which is something you can only do in person at the airport counter, the clerk asked when typing in her age whether I realized UM wasn’t required. I said, “Ma’am, I’m the parent of a 15-year-old. Do you think I haven’t been hearing about this for months already?”

Travelling on a UM ticket requires a lot of sign-ins and sign-outs, additional ID showing, and that kind of thing. It also adds a pretty hefty fee to the travel. But it means the parent gets to go to the gate on departures as well as arrivals to hug his little one a few more times and be a guiding presence. It means the parent is there to dig deep into his pocket at airport concession stands for the coffee and pastries and other pleasantries that  accompany air travel.

In essence, it’s a fee that lets me be a parent for a little longer.

Rebecca had made her feelings on the matter clear for quite some time. She said she could dig just as deeply for the sweets (even if it meant that I’d have to put the money there anyway), and that given her consistently high grades in math, she figured she could count her way to the correct gate.

This turned out to be the perfect time to test her independence. She travelled back to Florida on Sunday, Dec. 26, and her sister Andrea would be sitting beside her.

Andrea and Rebecca departing on Sunday, Dec. 26

Because Andrea and Rebecca travelled on regular adult tickets, I was permitted to accompany them only to the beginning of the security lanes.

Instead of a relaxed time with the girls in the airport lounge, I waved goodbye from the construction area outside security and watched as they turned the corner as adults.

I’d always thought I was an indispensable force in my daughter’s life, and perhaps I am. But after the couple hundred thousand air miles she has already racked up in her 15 years, she seems to think getting on an airplane is something she’s capable of on her own.

I hung around outside the security doors for a few minutes after the girls were out of sight, but no one came running back to ask for my help. And I didn’t hear anything from around the corner to indicate there was a problem with them not putting their shoes flat on the belt or taking their laptops out of their cases.

Hmmm. Maybe I did teach them something.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Kitty Alva January 11, 2011, 3:23 pm

    This made me giggle and tear up because as the mother of a 15-year-old, I can totally relate. I used to think chasing after a toddler, prying chocking hazards out of his hands and protecting him from getting hurt was exhausting and hard … I couldn’t wait until this stage was over. Now, not being able to be there at every moment to protect him is proving more difficult.
    Parenting is not for wimps. Take a bow, you’re doing a great job.

  • Beth January 11, 2011, 4:32 pm

    My kids have been traveling “unaccompanied” as soon as they hit the magical age that each airlines deemed them “old enough”. Then again, my kids have been going to sleep away camp since they were 5 and never thought to turn back for an instant. Hmmm, maybe they are a little “too independent”? Wait, did I just say that? Someone slap me back to reality! All kidding aside Paul, I think it is wonderful that you were able to hold onto that opportunity to share that time with Rebecca all of these years. I have to believe that it was not easy for her to go coast-to-coast anymore so than it has been easy for my kids to go Westchase-to-South Tampa and vice versa every week. But they do it, these kids of divorce. And even when I want to pull my hair out of my head that my now 17 year old daughter and 13 year old son can’t remember to take everything with them on transition days, I have to remember they are, after all, still kids, regardless of what the airlines say!

  • Chris Maxwell January 12, 2011, 7:01 am

    Well, now that he’s finished teaching the girls how to get through the airport with ease and efficiency, no doubt, he’ll devote future efforts to perfecting his wife’s techniques in this area……

  • Bryan Frank January 15, 2011, 9:17 am

    Loved this story. It’s always a little amazing to me watching children become adults. I look forward to seeing what gets passed on to the next generation.